Life in Balance

I want to begin this first post with a message of gratitude. This martial arts school is built upon family, and if you’re reading this, you’re a part of it. The support that all of you have shown during the process of building this school has been absolutely moving. Students and parents have been so generous by offering their time and services, donating supplies, sharing advice, and offering insight to illuminate blind spots. It has been an effort of love, friendship and family. Thank you all, for your love, trust and support.

Our martial arts and after school classes are growing very quickly! The focus is always on the quality of the martial arts training, and to help us maintain standards we are making some changes to the class schedule.

Schedule changes will not affect daycare students, only those attending evening classes. I realize that parents schedule other activities around martial arts classes, and I appreciate your patience as we fine tune our program. I have attached the new schedule below, which will take effect on September 9th. If you have any issues or concerns, please contact me and I will do my best to accommodate your needs.

Now I would like to talk about balance.

Life is a precious thing. People all over the world find themselves in situations less fortunate. We pass by people everyday who experience life in a way that we don’t fully see. The guy in front of you at the grocery store may be battling cancer. Perhaps that child sitting by herself has just lost a parent. These experiences can fundamentally change the way we see the world and what we choose to value.

Bronnie Ware, a palliative care nurse who spent several years caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives, writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom.

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

"This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it."

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

"Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”

This is where balance comes in.

Hearing all of this, one could easily slip into dismissing it with the rationale of “well that’s just how life is, I have to do what I have to do to put food on the table.” Another could approach from the angle of “throw caution to the wind and let the chips fall where they may”.

I have been in both these positions in my life, as I am sure all of you have. And I can say that neither position is the best use of our life. Balance is key. We can still work and provide for our families, we can still do the hard things. These are the things that make us stronger, we should never do away with those. We can still throw caution to the wind, at times. Jump into something new and have an adventure. Get out of our head for a while and go crazy! This is what life is, a balance of these dynamics. These are two sides of the same coin and we cannot have one without the other. When we fall into one side too heavily, we are consumed by it and we lose sight of things on the other side.

Let us remember why we do what we do, why we work so hard. We do these things so that we can enjoy our lives, so we can spend quality time with those we love, doing the things we love to do!

Let’s not wait until our final days to consider these things. Let’s start now, and honor the beautiful opportunity we have to be alive.

Till next time,

Sean